The Shepard
by AllTheseFeels
Summary: My account of Shepard's final decision and what came after. It'll be split into 2 parts; part 1 being her decision and part 2 being the epilogue that comes after. Rated M for language, and yes it's very emotional xD Hope you enjoy !
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is a FemShep version but I'd be more than willing to post a second version for MaleShep with his respective LI if you like. Similar situation with FemShep and any other LI she may have (Traynor, Garrus, etc)**

**I'm Commander Shepard.**

Shepard felt a sense of duty rise up in her as she forward, a marred and bloodied arm drawing her Revenant assault rifle from her back. She had to do it, she had to.

'_Shepard-Commander' _Legions voice echoed in her mind. _'Does this unit have a soul?'_

"God-dammit," Her jaw clenched and tears burned at her eyes, ripping and tearing at the wounds mapping her cheeks. "I'm sorry, Legion, I'm so sorry,"

'_Looks like you found a little humanity, EDI,' _It was her own voice now; happy and proud. _'Is it worth defending?'_

'_To the death,'_

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…I can't let them do this, please forgive me,"

Her finger hesitated on the trigger as faces flashed through her mind. First came Legion; the light on his 'head' fizzling out just after he'd finally become an individual. Then there was EDI, quizzical and eager to learn, looking to Shepard for guidance, advice and sometimes subtle encouragement. Anderson; the only thing close to a father she had ever known, his hand smoothing down her ragged mess of hair before he passed away right beside her. His last words had been that he was proud of her. Would he really be proud of this? Finally, there was Kaidan. Ah, Kaidan. Forcing him to go with the Normandy had seemed like the worst possible thing at the time. His eyes welled up, he shook, he screamed at Garrus when the turian had pulled him back as Shepard left for the beam. Now, she mused, it was for the best. If this was to be her end, she wouldn't have wanted it to be his. Kaidan was too good a soldier to die here in such a way. His smile flew to the front of her mind; so proud and stoic even in his happiness but his eyes showed a joy that was hers and hers alone to see.

"I hope you can forgive me…All of you," She wavered again as she focused her scope, the Revenant primed and ready for her final assault. "I love you, Kaidan. I'm sorry Legion. I'm sorry, EDI…Joker, I…He…Fuck!"

She had to do it NOW. While she dithered, thousands more lives were being taken by the Reapers. She needed to destroy them. She had to. It was…Her duty. She was a soldier; she had always been told that sacrifices would be necessary. Ashley, Mordin, Legion, very nearly Samara. She just had to steel herself and shoot…Shoot…Dammit, Shepard, SHOOT.

There was a little voice in the back of her mind chastising her; pulling her finger back from the trigger another few seconds longer. They're your family, it said, you're betraying their trust.

"You realise that destroying us is unethical," The child behind her droned. "Lower your weapon; chaos cannot be controlled by more chaos,"

"SHUT UP," Shepard cried, tears dripping from her chin onto her boots. "The Reapers need to be destroyed. That's what my goal has been from day one, that's what we're all fighting for!"

She knew that this was more to encourage herself than discourage him…It…Whatever. Shepard closed her eyes and breathed in deep; suddenly feeling the presence of her entire family behind her.

"It's alright, love," Kaidan soothed. "You did everything you could. Let it end; that beachfront property on the Sunshine Coast won't be waiting for us forever,"

"You're a soldier, Shepard," It was Garrus now. "Sacrificing the one for the many is what you do. You can do this. I believe in you,"

"Shepard!" Wrex. "What are you hesitating for? Pull the damned trigger! Mordin didn't get blown to bits for nothing!"

"Don't cry, Shepard," Of course, that was Liara. "We know you wouldn't choose this if there was a better option. This needs to end today; for Palaven, for Earth…For Thessia. We're right here with you,"

"Lola!," Heh, hello James. "Have some cojones! Jeez, if I was the one hesitating like this you'd have kicked my ass and done it yourself by now! You're a hell of a soldier, Commander. We're all behind you. Shit, I'll get a tattoo with your name on it someplace special when this is all over. I want people to know I knew the chick that destroyed the Reapers. Get to it!"

"We have Rannoch back, Shepard," Then came Tali. "The geth are people now but…They know the stakes just like all of the organics do. Legion wouldn't be ashamed; he would be proud of you for making it this far. You have the shot; take it,"

"Shepard…" Finally, Joker. "I've been with you since day one. I've seen you do crazy shit but this is by far the most batcrap insane thing I've ever seen you do. I know what this means if you pull that trigger. I know what will happen to her…To EDI. I'm not gonna lie; I'm not okay with that but…I think I will be. After a lot of drinks. I got up on that dancefloor and waved my arms, Commander. I don't regret a thing. Kick those damned things straight back to hell,"

Then she opened her eyes and they were gone again. Her hand steadied on the trigger and her tears dried as her breathing slowed to controlled and steady huffs from her injured lungs. A fire lit up in her eyes and in her heart. She was the best damned soldier in the galaxy. It was high time she started acting like it.

"You must not know who I am," She breathed, her voice carrying triumphantly around her. "Or you wouldn't have come here in the first place. So let me make it really clear for you,"

She pulled the trigger and – over the roaring of the Revenants unyielding fire – Shepard's warcry seemed to reverberate around the entire universe; to every planet in every system in every galaxy.

"I AM COMMANDER SHEPARD,"

**-Part 1 of 2 -**


	2. Chapter 2

**We Can Rebuild**

**Part 1 of 2**

**Normandy****;**

The Normandy was quiet; sombre and lonely as it landed planetside on a world that the crew had never known. One by one, they meandered out into the open. Joker came first; his eyes dark and tired and fresh with tears as he took off his cap and ran a hand through short, matted hair. In his mind, he had not only lost his best friend but now he had also lost a love. Garrus followed with his head hung like any respectful mourning Turian before a clawed hand came down lightly on Jokers shoulder, his mandibles flickering in sympathy when the human shrugged him off. He too felt a heavy feeling in his gut as his other hand felt out the old scar that had slowly been healing over the past while. Shepard had been his comrade in arms since the beginning. They'd seen it all together and now she was gone. It was a kind of pain almost akin to losing Palaven; greater than losing the original Primarch. He was Turian but he was not devoid of emotion.

"I'm sorry, Joker," He began slowly. "I…Can't imagine what it must be like—"

"No, you can't. So don't try, Garrus. Not right now," The pilot snapped without turning his head, blankly staring out at the thick canopy of greenery surrounding them. "There's nothing anyone could possibly do to make any of this even a little bit better,"

"We could turn the damned ship around and go back for her,"

Garrus and Joker whipped around to see Kaidan coming down to join them. His jaw was clenched and his mouth was pursed in a tight, controlled line but coffee eyes showed signs of any kind of resolve he had weakening by the second. Being a military man, Kaidan would never show it in front of the crew; he would find a release later. Right now, he stood squarely in line with Garrus with his shoulders set back and his chin tilted upwards in defiance, daring Joker to disagree with him as he clasped his hands behind his back.

"She promised me she'd see me on the other side," He finished, ignoring the snort of degradation from Joker.

"You saw what happened, Kaidan and you're not stupid. There is no WAY—"

"Shepard is alive. We're going back for her,"

Now it was Liara. She had been crying – tear marks were still fresh on her cobalt cheeks – but her voice was firm and steady as she descended down to the three men with Tali following close behind her. The Quarian went to Garrus quickly; each slinging an arm around the others waist for a brief moment of comfort in an otherwise hopeless time.

"We're talking about Commander Shepard. The same Commander Shepard that defeated an indoctrinated Spectre and destroyed a Reaper before she even fully understood what they were. The same Commander Shepard that destroyed a Collector base with nothing but her weapons and tactics to steer her straight. The same Commander Shepard that would rather we take the Normandy and go to save ourselves than wait for her and possibly be killed in the process. She is so monumentally stubborn that there is no possible way that she would let herself die now. She wouldn't fall to the Reapers; she'd be more proud dying from a fever,"

Liara's speech brought a smile to the crew's faces and caused a few more to poke their heads out and eventually come down to join her. James and Cortez came down together with Engineer Adams following with Doctor Chakwas. Gabby and Ken were next, completely ignoring a frantic Diana Allers as she tried to get their 'opinion' on what had just happened. The reporter was effectively silenced when Specialist Traynor appeared and viciously slapped her across the back of her head upon her descent, shooting her a look that could kill – unusual for the usually mild-tempered young woman – before proceeding to comfort a distraught Doctor Chakwas whose resilience had finally reached its end. The last one out was Javik. He said nothing and did nothing, and indeed nobody expected him to behave any differently, but he did seem to yield a little by coming to stand at James' side and sparing the Lieutenant a courteous nod. There was a sense of unity there in that moment; every heart there beating with the faint hope that their Commander could still be alive amongst the rubble. Talk had died down at this point purely because there wasn't much that anybody could say to change things. Glances of sympathy and concern were directed at Kaidan but he was impervious to it all; his eyes focusing on his hand which was tightly clutching Shepard's original dog tags from the SR1. His face hardened and he stood completely straight, striding up to a slight hill nearby and looking down at the bewildered crew with such fiery determination that it gave them all a faint sense of purpose even now.

"Screw this!" He began passionately. "Shepard wouldn't expect us to stand out here crying and moping. She'd want us to either pull ourselves together and start picking up the pieces or she'd want us to hurry up and pull her ass out of the rubble. We won't know which one we have to do until we get back on the damned ship and go and see for ourselves! I'm not giving up on her yet; not while we're in this weird, Schrodinger's Cat kind of situation,"

"In case you haven't noticed, Alenko, I nearly burned the Normandy to breaking point getting us out of there!" Joker snarled as he took an enraged step forward, ignoring the searing pain crawling up his leg.

"You're forgetting you have me on board," Garrus spoke quietly as he disentangled himself from Tali and went to join Kaidan. "I always have a backup plan in case of emergencies and I certainly think this qualifies as an emergency. If there's any chance of pulling Shepard's ass out of the fire again, I'll do it. I won't eat or sleep if that's what it takes to get the Normandy back to Earth and the Citadel,"

A small murmur of agreement built up amongst the crew. They wanted to save the Commander as she had saved them and indeed the entire galaxy too.

"I'm getting back down to engineering to get us started," Tali nodded and folded her arms decisively, turning her head towards the rest of the crew. "Adams, Gabby, Ken, I'm going to need all of your help for this,"

The three all saluted in unison; teary smiles spreading across their faces.

"Aye, aye!" The three engineers replied before they followed Tali hastily back onto the ship, basically tripping over themselves in their eagerness to help.

"I'll head back down to the shuttle bay and see if I can't get the Kodiack ready again; we might need it if there's a possibility that Shepard fell to Earth," Cortez murmured as he brushed the tears from his eyes; the despair slowly being replaced by a strong glitter of loyalty. "James, mind giving me a hand?"

"I'm right with you, Esteban," James nodded and gestured a calloused hand towards the ship, keeping pace with Cortez as they too disappeared back into the Normandy.

"Traynor, keep all channels open for any kind of radio contact from Hackett. He might have news that could help," Kaidan spoke again, smiling gratefully at her dutiful nod and salute before she near enough sprinted back inside. "Allers, put your sliver or talent to some kind of use and contact everyone you can in the media. See if you can find any kind of damage report, body count, I don't care. Get us something,"

"Aye, aye! But, uh…Before that, do you mind if I just—"

"If this human lingers for a moment longer, I will tear out her spine and use it as a shelf in my quarters. Perhaps then she will be useful,"

Javik's rather malicious statement got Diana back inside rather quickly and Kaidan could've sworn he saw the Prothean grinning with a flash of impossibly sharp canines.

"I'll return to the medical bay and start preparing my strongest medication. If Shepard is alive I'll make sure we don't lose her," Doctor Chakwas murmured as she steadied her breathing and hurriedly disappeared, grateful to have something to do to stop her from breaking altogether.

Garrus was next to move. He turned to Kaidan and offered a hand which the biotic shook gratefully, a sense of understanding coming into fruition between the two soldiers.

"I'll head down to the main battery and get the repairs and calibrations started," Garrus declared as he jumped back down to level ground. "I'd rather nobody disturbs me unless it's anything related to Shepard,"

Liara followed, answering Kaidan's quizzical look before she even turned around to see it.

"I'm going to look at my channels to see if there's news. Feron might also have some updates on how certain systems or planets are doing after the attack. If nothing else, we need a little bit of good news,"

Now only Joker, Kaidan and Javik remained outside. Joker still trembled from the pain slowly seeping through his bones and from grief, his eyes averted from the Major's expecting gaze as he pulled his hat over his eyes for a moment.

"This better be worth it, Kaidan,"

Was all he said before he turned and limped back into the Normandy, making a beeline for the cockpit. A heavy silence settled on the two warriors that were left standing out in the humid climate of this unfamiliar wold, both of them curious if all of this effort and painstaking work would reap any kind of good result.

"Orders?" Javik broke the silence readily; his voice cutting through the ringing in Kaidans ears.

"Be ready," Was the reply. "If we find her, we'll all need to pitch in and help,"

"Indeed. I will be in my quarters until I am needed. You would have made a good soldier in my cycle, Biotic,"

With that, Javik left and Kaidan was left standing there alone for a moment. He clutched the dog tags a little tighter as memories of Shepard flashed through his mind; their meeting before Eden Prime, her pulling him back from the beacon, every time she came to talk to him about his past, their night together before Ilos, Horizon, Mars, their date on the Citadel and finally the night they'd spent together not so long ago. Despite himself, he felt his eyes sting and he wiped at them angrily before striding back onto the Normandy with a strong sense of purpose.

"Hold on, Shepard. We're coming,"

And as the Normandy took off into the air again, despite the ship being more quiet than ever before, there was a stronger sense of duty than there had ever been. They were going to rescue their commander.

**A/N: Okay so that was longer than I'd anticipated, so it'll be split into THREE parts instead of two x_x Part Three coming soon!**


	3. Chapter 3

**No-one Left Behind**

All Shepard could feel was an extraordinary weight pressing down on her. She couldn't move her legs, it hurt to breath. It felt all too familiar to when she got spaced on the original SR1. She knew what that meant; she was dying. As if the slow feeling of numbness wasn't proof enough, she hacked and coughed violently as another wrack of pain shook through her body, feeling blood drip from the corner of her mouth and down her chin. This was it; there was no Cerberus to save her this time.

'_At least,'_ She thought. _'We won. The war is over. The Reapers are gone; my job is done. I think…I've earned some down time…'_

She smiled to herself bitterly as she felt her entire body becoming strangely light, as if there was no rubble pressing down on her at all, and each individual thought she had began to slip out of her head one by one. It was time. True to what people said, her life flashed before her eyes; right from when she was running around on frigates as a child, to graduating from the N7 program, becoming Commander, and everything from that point on that had made her life so incredibly surreal and breathtaking. If this was her time, she was ready. The only thing she regretted was making all of those promises to her friends – her family – of things they would do when she returned. She could only hope that they could forgive her over time. She should've taken up Miranda's mantra; never make promises you can't keep. As every one of her senses began to fade and dull, she slipped back into a dream she'd had so many times before but only now it seemed ten times more real to her. It was fitting. No more sleepless nights.

There she was again; standing in a decaying forest with ashen leaves tangling in her hair and dissolving at her touch, shadows of those she'd loved and lost watching every step she took with their voices whispering her name in her ear. And, as always, the StarChild was waiting for her. Except now she saw the monstrosity that lurked behind the exterior of a child. As always, the shimmering blue form ran but a sense of victory coursed through her veins and through her heart when she realised that this child wasn't running from the Reapers now; it was running from her. She grinned widely and gave chase, the heavy feeling she always got in those dreams gone completely. She sprinted now as she chased the shimmering form into the darkness of the fog, the warrior in her soaring and crying in joy at the burning sensation in her legs as she ran, the heaving of her chest as she panted in her chase. She had never felt more alive. Shepard was quick to catch up to the child, its limbs flailing in blind panic and wailing as it tried to wrap Shepards morality around it's little finger. No chance; not now. Her hand swung around to her lower back and pulled out her Revenant – that trusty extension to her arm that had help her win this godforsaken war – and opened fire. Incendiary rounds blazed through the fog and gave the child nowhere to run and certainly nowhere to hide. As he always did, he sprouted into flames and wide eyes gazed at her through the embers but now the flames were hers to control and the eyes reflected everything she had accomplished. As every bullet she released tore a new hole into the aquamarine vision standing before her, licked it's 'skin' with another flicker of a flame, it finally dawned on her what had just happened. She had saved everyone she cared about with a round of bullets; she had won a war with conventional means that apparently couldn't be won conventionally. She had succeeded where an entire galaxy before her had failed. What if something else came around again? Another enemy? Who else could lead the charge? As much as she hated it, she was an idol to most; there would be people she didn't even now mourning her loss. The galaxy was still fragile after this, it NEEDED a guardian; a protector.

She needed to live.

Shepard's mouth opened wide and she sucked in a greedy breath, tasting ash and blood on her tongue. Her eyes snapped open and stared up at the stars with blurry eyes. The rubble was back again and pressed it's weight painfully against her broken legs but the pain made her feel alive this time. She had a keen desire to live that overshadowed the nausea and fear and pain; it made her blood flow that much warmer through her body. Admittedly things seemed incredibly bleak; her arms were broken and bleeding profusely, her legs twisted grotesquely out of shape and her torso was scorched beneath her N7 armour. She could feel something warm matting in what was left of her hair and saw a thick red line oozing down her face out of the periphery of her vision. What could she do now? Even with all of her hope, she was unable to do anything other than breath and blink. No, she couldn't think that way. She cursed herself for not being a biotic; she maybe could've tried to lift some of the rubble off of her.

"Heh, fat lot of good that would do. I still can't walk," She chided to herself.

Those little moments, those little snippets of humour and being able to hear her own voice was what would stop her from losing her mind to her panic. She was going to find some way to get out of here. She was going to get back home. She was…She was—

"Admiral!" We've found something!" A voice cut through the gunpowder air and she heard frantic scuffling of boots over rubble coming from behind her. "Good God…Hurry, sir!"

More shuffling and grunting came now, everything falling quiet for a moment as Shepard felt eyes fixed on her, not daring to move.

"I'll be damned…" A familiar voice whispered incredulously. "Shepard,"

His voice made her want to speak. Cracked and bloodied lips parted into a grimacing smile as her eyelids fluttered open again despite the fact that she couldn't even turn her head to look at him.

"Admiral Hackett. Sorry for lying down on the job, sir…" She croaked and he heard him breath in sharply as he scrabbled down the rubble to get a better look at her.

"Jesus, Shepard…" He paused again, knowing there were no words that would suffice. "How did you…We were sure we'd only find a body,"

"Your optimism is what keeps me going, sir," Came the glib reply.

"How you can even still talk is beyond me. Get her out of there! I don't care how heavy those slabs are, get the woman out of there NOW! That's an order!"

Shepard waited for a moment, her ears tuning into the sound of dozens of scurrying feet as hands reached out around her body and started the laborious process of pulling her free from the rubble. The weight slowly dissipated from her legs but that just opened up a new floodgate of pain as fresh blood flew through them both, warming both old injuries she'd forgotten about and new injuries she'd yet to see. Her arms instinctively flexed as they too were gradually freed and Shepard couldn't help the yelp of pain that passed her lips when she tried to clench and unclench her fists. Her breathing quickened as numbness turned to pain and her head began to spin unpleasantly.

"N…Normandy…" She breathed in sudden realisation, trying and failing to move her arms to support her body as she tried to sit up.

Hackett's hand came down upon a singed shoulder, gentle but demanding, pushing her back down again.

"They're all alive, Shepard," He nodded and moved so that she could see him, his face lined with wrinkles and grizzled with years of experience. "Right now, worry about yourself,"

"Forgotten how…" She chuckled humourlessly. "Always a galaxy in trouble…Need to hold their hand…"

Despite himself, Hackett laughed. Even when she was on death's door, Shepard was still the same woman. All the more reason to make sure she survived this. He kneeled down beside her as his eyes drank in the horrific sight before him. Her body was mangled and bloodied, her arms, legs and most likely her ribs were all broken from the impact. Most of her hair had been singed from the explosion and there was a deep, grotesque gash on her crown. Bruises littered her body like purple badges of honour and her N7 armour stuck to various parts of her body; matted with blood and singed to the skin. Shepard's breathing was harsh in his ears, rattling out of her throat in uncontrolled and desperate wheezes. She didn't have much left in her other than hope. Hackett saw her eyes dip shut gradually and lightly grabbed her by the shoulders to try and shake her awake, but the pain of his touch alone made those battle hardened orbs snap open to attention.

"Stay with us, Shepard," He pleaded. "You can't sleep yet,"

"But I'm so tired, sir…" She murmured in exhaustion.

"Just a little while longer, Shepard. You can sleep for as long as you like after that,"

He was acknowledged with a pained grunt and a nod as some paramedics were escorted over the rubble by some of his men. He moved to let them at Shepard's body and his eye drifted from her to one of the soldiers who approached him; the young mans face taut with confusion and worry.

"S-Sir, we have a ship in the area. It looks as though it's trying to come in to land,"

Hackett smirked and nodded. He knew what ship that was before the soldier had even told him the name.

"That ship is the SR2 Normandy. Contact their pilot and tell them they're free to land. Give them coordinates for the LZ. Tell Joker to make sure Dr Chakwas is standing by. Shepard's alive,"

.~.~.~.~.~.~.

"_Normandy. Come in, Normandy,"_ Joker jerked forward as a transmission crackled through the cockpit.

"This is the Normandy. Go ahead, soldier," He replied anxiously, his fingers drumming at the console.

"Approach the LZ at these coordinates. Admiral Hackett advises your attending doctor is standing by; we are bringing Shepard on board,"

Joker's heart leaped into his throat at the soldiers last words before the transmission cut. He didn't say 'Shepard's body'. He said 'Shepard'. She was alive. His hands scrabbled until he managed to hit the button for the intercom, his voice doing his beaming smile absolutely no justice.

"We're coming in to land, people, brace yourselves! Commander Shepard will be boarding,"

It took what seemed like a second before Kaidan strode into the cockpit and clapped a hand down on Jokers shoulder carefully, coffee eyes boring a hole in the pilots cap.

"You better not be shitting me here, Joker,"

"I'm not that cruel, Major. I'd get yourself strapped in if you're staying up here; it's not gonna be a smooth landing,"

Obediently, Kaidan sat down in what used to be EDI's seat, his hands gripping the edges of the seat so hard he worried for a moment he'd rip the seams. Shepard was boarding. He almost didn't want to see what she looked like; he didn't want to see her in so much pain and nearly dying because he didn't stay with her like he should've. It'd break him all over again.

"-dan. Kaidan. Kaidan!"

Joker's voice made the Major turn his head a little, if only to show he was listening.

"Snap out of it. The last thing the Commander would want is you moping. Do it in your own time; right now she needs us. You said so yourself,"

Kaidan nodded, collecting himself for a moment before looking out the window. He could only see rubble as they came into land, speckled with the little skittering flecks that were Hackett's men. It only took a minute for the Normandy to touch ground but to him it felt like hours.

"SR2 Normandy has landed," Joker spoke into the console. "Do you guys need a hand or will we stay put?"

"_Negative, there's enough commotion out here as it is. We'll bring Shepard to you; Hackett advises immediate departure afterwards,"_

"Roger that, soldier. Normandy out,"

Joker took his hands off of the console and carefully rose to his feet, ignoring the questioning glance from Kaidan but answering the question that came with it.

"I'll be damned if I'll sit here while the Commander gets taped down in the medical bay. I'm at least making sure I get to see her breathing before we get the hell out of here,"

Kaidan nodded and stood with Joker dutifully by the airlock, his heart leaping into his throat when the familiar hiss sounded from behind the door. Two paramedics shuffled uneasily on board with a stretcher between the two of them, the body on top of it covered in what looked suspiciously like aluminium foil up to the neck.

"It's to insulate her; her suits thermal regulators shorted out on impact," The first explained to Joker who was looking at the foil as though it was a sleeping Vorcha lying on top of the Commander. "We can't have her losing any more body heat,"

Joker nodded but Kadians eyes and mind were too transfixed on Shepard's face. Blood was crusted along her cheek and jaw, her nose obviously broken and still bleeding with her left eye turning a horrible yellowish colour as the bruising set in. Her lips were split in several places with gashes and burns littering her forehead and chin. He saw that a good deal of her hair had been burnt off at one side but he didn't care about that; it would take months for that to grow back at the very most. His mouth felt incredibly dry as the paramedics hauled her off towards the elevator but both he and Joker were quick to follow. They weren't letting Shepard out of their sight.

The whole crew left every single one of their stations and crowded around the glass windows of the med bay to watch as the paramedics carefully transferred Shepard to one of the med bay cots. Carefully, they assisted Dr Chakwas in removing the foil from around Shepard's sparsely armoured body. Inch by horrifying inch, the doctor finally saw just how much the Commander had sacrificed for everyones safety. As a professional, it looked bad. As Shepard's friend and colleague, it looked ten times worse.

"We recommend taking Shepard to Illium. Earth is in no shape to give her the correct life support. Resources there are still fairly intact; there should be a hospital to suit your needs,"

Afterwards, both hastily left, leaving Dr Chakwas to gingerly peel off the remnants of Shepard's armour. The crew looked to each other from outside fearfully before most of them let their eyes rest on Kaidan.

"Well, Kaidan?" Garrus quipped. "You're the only one here trained as a medic. Get in there and help her,"

Kaidan grumbled but didn't object; wasting no time in entering the med bay and striding up to Shepard's cot as Joker hobbled back to the elevator to plot a course for Illium. One by one, the crew dispersed from the window – Garrus, Liara and Tali all being the last to leave – and returned to their respective posts. Kadian could only stare down at the woman unconscious beside him; it knocked the breath out of him in the worst way possible. So he let the professional half of his mind take over if only for a little while.

'_This is your Commander and she needs you to help her,'_ The little voice in his head scolded.

Slowly, he removed her boots and greaves, unsettled by the fact that they were caked in so much blood he couldn't even see the blue highlights Shepard had had painted onto them. Dr Chakwas worked on the chestplate reluctantly, resorting to cutting the seared skin with a scalpel to dislodge the plate entirely from Shepard's chest. Her gauntlets came relatively easily afterwards. Kaidan could only imagine how long it would take for Shepard to recover, if she ever did. Dr Chakwas draped a blanket over Shepard's wounded body carefully and delicately attached an oxygen mask to the bruised and marred face.

"I'll watch over her, Kaidan. You'll be the first to know if anything changes," She spoke softly and touched the back of the Majors hand, her all-knowing eyes glittering in earnest.

"Yeah…Thank you, Doctor,"

"Of course. Try to get some sleep; we've all been neglecting it,"

Kaidan could only nod as he left the med bay, committing the sound of Shepard's breathing to memory to help him sleep a little bit better.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Once Joker sent word to Illium that Shepard needed a hospital bed, they were pretty generous. A bed, surgeon and life support machine were reserved for her with an Asari medical team waiting for the shore party to carry her off the ship. However, they did forbid anyone from entering the hospital afterwards. They needed to work immediately and there were already too many refugees in every single one of Illium's hospitals; even two or three unnecessary bodies would be too much.

"Come back in two weeks," One of the physicians had told Kaidan after he had avidly protested. "Stay in a hotel if you really have to. We just can't have you in the hospital right now, sir. I'm sorry,"

With that, the team left with Shepard in tow. Kaidan looked to James who stood beside him looking nothing short of infuriated before he stalked back onto the ship, leaving Kaidan to follow behind him.

It was a week before the Normandy got word that Shepard had survived the various surgeries she'd undergone, despite her cybernetics playing havoc with her body. Commander Shepard had now laughed in the face of death twice.

Garrus, Liara, Tali and Kaidan were the first group allowed to visit Shepard in the hospital. Her room was easily three times the size of any of the rooms in Huerta Memorial and could fit the 4 friends in there with room to spare. Liara brought flowers, Tali brought Shepard her Revenant assault rifle which she'd managed to fix after 'tinkering' with it for a while, Garrus brought her brandy (not Turian, thankfully), and Kaidan brought a little blue velvet box with her old SR1 dog tags inside it, cleaned and polished to perfection minus a few unavoidable scratches. Her head turned weakly as they all came in together and tired lips broke into a joyful smile; the first to reach her eyes in months. Her eyes sparkled as Liara flung her arms around Shepard's neck and hugged the breath from her lungs.

"Not so tight, Liara…" She croaked and laughed roughly as her friend pulled back in panic.

"I'm so sorry, Shepard! I-I'm just so glad to see you're alright—"

"Don't worry about it. You didn't have to get me gifts,"

"Well, your mother said you liked these Earth flowers; lilies? I couldn't find any blue so I got purple instead,"

Shepard nodded and smiled in thanks as Liara scurried around and found a vase to put them in, stepping away as Tali gave Shepard a short embrace of her own and placed the Revenant on her bedside cabinet.

"The safety's on and there's no thermal clip so it's completely safe, I promise," The Quarian laughed as Shepard frowned in disappointment. "I'm not giving you a loaded gun, Shepard. I said I'd loan you a grenade but I'm not THAT stupid,"

Garrus stepped forward now with the brandy, setting it next to the gun and giving what remained of Shepard's hair a light ruffle as his mandibles flared into a broad Turian smile.

"You look like hell, Shepard," He chuckled.

"Is that any way to greet a friend that nearly died?"

"You said I was 'always ugly' after I took a missile to the face, Shepard,"

"Point taken…"

The two shared a laugh and Garrus pressed his forehead to hers affectionately. He'd never said it before, but Shepard was and always would be the best friend he'd ever had. Knowing she'd survived gave him a great sense of relief and peace. He'd give her a lecture later. Kaidan was last. He leaned down and pressed his lips against her bandaged forehead, his eyes squeezed shut as he breathed in deeply. The smell of medigel, soot, shampoo and metal rocked through him like a wave and he revelled in it for a moment before popping the box open and helping Shepard sit up. He supported her back with one strong arm and tried to slip the dog tags around her neck with the other before Shepard stopped him.

"I'm not a cripple, Kaidan," She protested. "I can put a chain around my neck,"

Embarrassed, he nodded and handed the tags to her. She carefully slid them around her neck and sighed softly at the feeling of cool metal on her clammy skin.

"You look better rested than you've been in months," Kaidan smiled in approval.

"There isn't much else I can do in this place other than sleep," Shepard shot back dryly with one of those smiles that were uniquely hers. "I…How's Joker taking the whole situation with EDI?"

"He's keeping himself busy with his job," Kaidan replied with a frown. "Although I'd like to know what happ—"

"Don't push me, Kaidan. I'll tell you when I'm ready,"

Her snapping unsettled him slightly but he certainly understood. After her ordeal, he could stand to wait a little longer before he asked her the hard questions.

"The Reaper tech in her was destroyed, as it was with the Geth," Tali piped up, a finger rubbing her masked chin. "But the damage isn't irreparable; we have technology intelligent enough to repair them all. It'll be slow, but it's possible,"

The feeling of relief that spread through Shepard was nearly enough to make her cry but once in a lifetime was enough for her. She glanced at each of her visitors in turn and found herself so incredibly thankful that it was them who'd been with her from the beginning and it was them who were here now.

"Why did you come back?" She finally asked them as she looked at each of her visitors inquisitively, surprised to see each of the smiling even broader than before.

"Because you said so yourself when we hit the Collector base," Garrus smiled. "No-one gets left behind,"

A comfortable silence settled between them all for a moment and a wistful calm settled over Shepard's bandaged face.

"When will you be back on the Normandy with us?" Liara piped up curiously, ignoring the glare Garrus shot her for ruining the moment.

"I'll need a lot of therapy, Liara," Shepard sighed heavily, uncomfortably rubbing her bandaged hands together. "Learning to walk again and stuff will take time. I'll be back on the Normandy as soon as I'm able; you'll hear from me,"

The Asari could only nod as each of them were ushered out by one of the doctors, smiling as Shepard gave them all a smile and a wave before the sedatives and medigel lulled her back to sleep again.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.

And she was true to her word. A long and arduous six months later, Shepard returned to the Normandy despite her therapists obvious disapproval. She'd nearly died twice, actually died once and she was hellbent on living her life to its fullest before either could ever happen again.

"Welcome aboard, Commander," Joker had grinned.

"It's good to be back,"

It really was. Sure, she could settle down now but she wasn't ready for that yet. The Reapers were gone but there was still a matter that needed to be dealt with.

Aria was sitting on her throne on Omega yet.

**~FIN~**


	4. Chapter 4

**An End Once And For All**

**Chapter 1;**

**Wake up**

"Wake up,"

Shepard stirred and forced her eyes to open as a voice pervaded the foggy recesses of her mind. Pushing her weary body up with charred hands and arms, she lifted her head to look in the direction of where the voice had come from. Her heart stilled at the sight that awaited her; it was the child she hadn't been able to save back on Earth when the Reapers had first attacked. Wait, no, no it wasn't. This…Thing just LOOKED like that child - completely translucent and tinged a pallid aquamarine as hollow eyes looked down at Shepard in silent judgement. She had seen many things in her line of work – a lot of which she would rather not have to see again – but this was by far the most disturbing. Shepard forced herself to stand, shaky and fractured legs barely supporting the marred torso that her arm was clutching to try and slow some of the bleeding. She tried to speak, but her mouth had gone completely dry.

"What…W-Where am I?" Shepard finally managed to get out as her head tilted briefly to look around her.

Above her, a Reaper floated directly overhead. She could not hear it but her heart lurched in her chest as another wave of Alliance cruisers collided with it, a single red beam erupting from its core to cleave them all into pieces. Earth was a blazing ball of red and orange – it reminded her of Palaven – and there seemed to be battle and explosions as far as she could see. There she was at the apex of it all now. It was a thought that even Commander Shepard had difficulty wrapping her trained mind around. She just hoped and prayed to whatever god that may or may not exist that this meant that she now had some way to make it stop.

"The Citadel; it's my home,"

The 'child' spoke again as it caught Shepards attention. She looked up at the three platforms that lay a few metres away and wondered at their importance. There was one to the right that led to something which looked like some kind of power source, like a main battery maybe, with a glass case protecting the inside. The one in the middle was just a long catwalk leading up to a beam that poured out of the top of the Citadel. The one on the left led up to another unit similar to the one on the right that vaguely resembled pistons of some sort. She had no idea what any of them did but she was almost certain that it wouldn't be long until she found out. For now, however, she needed answers to her questions.

"Who are you?" She breathed as her eyes homed in on the ghostly form before her once more.

"I am the Catalyst," was the reply; matter-of-fact and emotionless.

"I…Thought the Citadel was the Catalyst?"

Shepard's mind was spinning and this time it wasn't from the possible concussion she might have. This…thing was the Catalyst? How? Everything that had been extrapolated from the plans for the Crucible said otherwise.

"No, the Citadel is part of me,"

Now Shepard was confused as well as in a state of severe disorientation. She had just seen one of her oldest comrades and something of a father figure die for the sake of this damned Catalyst and now she's standing here only to find out it's some kind of ghost brat. She hoped that there was a grander explanation behind all of this or her usually diplomatic nature might falter with the prospect of being able to put a round of incendiaries right between this things eyes. Taking a deep breath, she fought that urge for now and locked it away as tightly as she could. Violence had never been her way of resolution unless every other option was exhausted. She wanted to hear her options first.

This was to be her last true mission, one way or another, and she wanted to end it right.

"The paths are open, but you have to choose,"

Shepard could hardly believe this. All of this fighting and suffering and even now she couldn't save everyone. She had three choices; controlling a race of sentient beings that had been crafted by harvested races in the pace, synthesising all organic and synthetic life whether they agreed to it or not – something eerily similar to playing God – or destroy the Reapers for good and lose all synthetic life with Reaper tech within them in the process. That would mean that EDI and the Geth that Legion had given intelligence to would all…Ah, this was bullshit! She wasn't going to pick Synthesis. That was wrong on so many moral levels. She had no right to decide that for everybody else in the galaxy. She simply didn't trust controlling the Reapers; there had to be a catch in that somewhere…Y'know, other than dying. It looked as though there was only one option she could pick here. To sacrifice the one for the many had never been her way if she could help it but, for once, she COULDN'T help it. Her mind flashed back painfully to when she had to destroy the Alpha Relay, sacrificing hundreds of thousands of Batarian lives. It had been a necessity, as this was. This needed to end and she had always known that sacrifices would need to be made.

Shepard felt a sense of duty rise up in her as she slowly began to move forward, a marred and bloodied arm drawing her Revenant assault rifle from her back. She had to do it, she had to. As she climbed the ramp to the right, her eyes focused on the thin glass casing that encased the thing that was keeping the Reapers alive. This was what she and everyone else had been fighting for; she had to destroy them. They needed to be eradicated. She limped along with a thin wash of determination flooding over her body, getting stronger like a wave as it encased her. She barely registered the pain when she moved or the tight sensation in her chest when she breathed. When she finally came to a halt, everything seemed to fade away. There was only her, her gun and her target before her. It had all begun to seem so straightforward until-

_'Shepard-Commander'_ Legions voice echoed in her mind. _'Does this unit have a soul?_'

"God-dammit," Shepard's jaw clenched and tears burned at her eyes, ripping and tearing at the wounds mapping her cheeks. "I'm sorry, Legion, I'm so sorry,"

_'Looks like you found a little humanity, EDI,'_ It was her own voice now; happy and proud. _'Is it worth defending?'_

_'To the death,_' Came EDI's reply, a steely sense of purpose coating her words.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…I can't let them do this, please forgive me,"

It was now that the reality hit her; she was going to commit genocide. She was an awful, awful person for even considering this but she was backed into a corner. What else could she do? This is what everyone was fighting for on every planet in the galaxy. Everyone also knew the risks.

Not that knowing that would help her sleep at night if she got out of this damned thing alive. She doubted it very much.

Shepard's finger hesitated on the trigger as faces flashed through her mind. First came Legion; dropping to his knees after finally gaining his identity, sacrificing himself so his people could have their freedom to think for themselves. Then there was EDI – always eager to learn, always oblivious to human social cues. She had made Joker happier than Shepard had ever seen him. Anderson; the only thing close to a father she had ever known, his hand smoothing down her ragged mess of hair before he passed away right beside her. His last words had been that he was proud of her. Would he really be proud of this? Finally, there was Kaidan. Ah, Kaidan. Forcing him to go with the Normandy had seemed like the worst possible thing at the time. His eyes welled up, he shook, he screamed at Garrus when the turian had pulled him back as Shepard left for the beam. Now, she mused, it was for the best. If this was to be her end, she wouldn't have wanted it to be his. Kaidan was too good a soldier to die here in such a way. His smile flew to the front of her mind; so proud and stoic even in his happiness but his eyes showed a joy that was hers and hers alone to see.

"I hope you can forgive me…All of you," She wavered again as she focused her scope, the Revenant primed and ready for her final assault. "I love you, Kaidan. I'm sorry Legion. I'm sorry, EDI…Joker, I…He…Fuck!"

She had to do it NOW. While she dithered, thousands more lives were being taken by the Reapers. She needed to destroy them. She had to. It was…Her duty. She was a soldier; she had always been told that sacrifices would be necessary. Ashley, Mordin, Legion, very nearly Samara. She just had to steel herself and shoot…Shoot…Dammit, Shepard, SHOOT.

There was a little voice in the back of her mind chastising her; pulling her finger back from the trigger another few seconds longer. They're your family, it said, you're betraying their trust.

"You realise that destroying us is unethical," The child behind her droned. "Lower your weapon; chaos cannot be controlled by more chaos,"

"SHUT UP," Shepard cried, tears dripping from her chin onto her boots. "The Reapers need to be destroyed. That's what my goal has been from day one, that's what we're all fighting for!"

She knew that this was more to encourage herself than discourage him…It…Whatever. Shepard closed her eyes and breathed in deeply; suddenly feeling the presence of her entire family behind her. Their voices rung softly in her ears and she could almost feel Kaidan's warm hand coming down gently on her injured soldier.

"It's alright, love," Kaidan soothed. "You did everything you could. Let it end; that beachfront property on the Sunshine Coast won't be waiting for us forever,"

"You're a soldier, Shepard," It was Garrus now. "Sacrificing the one for the many is what you do. You can do this. I believe in you,"

"Shepard!" Wrex. "What are you hesitating for? Pull the damned trigger! Mordin didn't get blown to bits for nothing!"

"Don't cry, Shepard," Then came Liara, her voice soft and filled with pain. "We know you wouldn't choose this if there was a better option. This needs to end today; for Palaven, for Earth…For Thessia. We're right here with you,"

"Lola!" Heh, hello James. "Have some cojones! Jeez, if I was the one hesitating like this you'd have kicked my ass and done it yourself by now! You're a hell of a soldier, Commander. We're all behind you. Shit, I'll get a tattoo with your name on it someplace special when this is all over. I want people to know I knew the chick that destroyed those pendejo Reapers. Get to it!"

"We have Rannoch back, Shepard," It was Tali now, and the voices were getting stronger. "The Geth are people now but…They know the stakes just like all of the organics do. Legion wouldn't be ashamed; he would be proud of you for making it this far. You have the shot; take it,"

"Shepard…" Finally, Joker. "I've been with you since day one. I've seen you do crazy shit but this is by far the most batcrap insane thing I've ever seen you do. I know what this means if you pull that trigger. I know what will happen to her…To EDI. I'm not gonna lie; I'm not okay with that but…I think I will be. After a lot of drinks. I got up on that dancefloor and waved my arms, Commander. I don't regret a thing. Kick those damned things straight back to hell,"

Then she opened her eyes and they were gone again. Her hand steadied on the trigger and her tears dried as her breathing slowed to controlled and steady huffs from her injured lungs. A fire lit up in her eyes and in her heart. She was the best damned soldier in the galaxy. It was high time she started acting like it.

"You must not know who I am," She breathed, her voice carrying triumphantly around her. "Or you never would have fucked with us in the first place. So allow me to make it extremely clear for you,"

She pulled the trigger and – over the roaring of the Revenants unyielding fire – Shepard's war cry seemed to reverberate around the entire universe; to every planet in every system in every galaxy.

"I AM COMMANDER SHEPARD,"

**Chapter 2:**

**Wake Up.**

**Setting - Normandy Crash Site.**

The Normandy was quiet; sombre and lonely as it landed planetside on a world that the crew had never known. One by one, they meandered out into the open. Joker came first; his eyes dark and tired and fresh with tears as he took off his cap and ran a hand through short, matted hair. In his mind, he had not only lost his best friend but now he had also lost a love. Garrus followed with his head hung like any respectful mourning Turian before a clawed hand came down lightly on Jokers shoulder, his mandibles flickering in sympathy when the human shrugged him off. He too felt a heavy feeling in his gut as his other hand felt out the old scar that had slowly been healing over the past while. Shepard had been his comrade in arms since the beginning. They'd seen it all together and now she was gone. It was a kind of pain almost akin to losing Palaven; greater than losing the original Primarch. He was Turian but he was not devoid of emotion.

"I'm sorry, Joker," He began slowly. "I…Can't imagine what it must be like—"

"No, you can't. So don't try, Garrus. Not right now," The pilot snapped without turning his head, blankly staring out at the thick canopy of greenery surrounding them. "There's nothing anyone could possibly do to make any of this even a little bit better,"

"We could turn the damned ship around and go back for her,"

Garrus and Joker whipped around to see Kaidan coming down to join them. His jaw was clenched and his mouth was pursed in a tight, controlled line but coffee eyes showed signs that any kind of resolve he had was weakening by the second. Being a military man, Kaidan would never show it in front of the crew; he would find a release later. Right now, he stood squarely in line with Garrus with his shoulders set back and his chin tilted upwards in defiance, daring Joker to disagree with him as he clasped his hands behind his back.

"She promised me she'd see me on the other side," He finished, ignoring the snort of degradation from Joker.

"You saw what happened, Kaidan and you're not stupid. There is no WAY—"

"Shepard is alive. We're going back for her,"

Now it was Liara. She had been crying – tear marks were still fresh on her cobalt cheeks – but her voice was firm and steady as she descended down to the three men with Tali following close behind her. The Quarian went to Garrus quickly; each slinging an arm around the others waist for a brief moment of comfort in an otherwise hopeless time.

"We're talking about Commander Shepard. The same Commander Shepard that defeated an indoctrinated Spectre and destroyed a Reaper before she even fully understood what they were. The same Commander Shepard that destroyed a Collector base with nothing but her weapons and tactics to steer her straight. The same Commander Shepard that would rather we take the Normandy and go to save ourselves than wait for her and possibly be killed in the process. She is so monumentally stubborn that there is no possible way that she would let herself die now. She wouldn't fall to the Reapers; she'd be more proud dying from a fever,"

Liara's speech brought a smile to her friends faces, also causing more of the Normandy crew to poke their heads out and eventually come down to join her. James and Cortez came down together with Engineer Adams following with Doctor Chakwas. Gabby and Ken were next, completely ignoring a frantic Diana Allers as she tried to get their 'opinion' on what had just happened. The reporter was effectively silenced when Specialist Traynor appeared and viciously slapped her across the back of her head upon her descent, shooting her a look that could kill – unusual for the usually mild-tempered young woman – before proceeding to comfort a distraught Doctor Chakwas whose resilience had finally reached its end. The last one out was Javik. He said nothing and did nothing, and indeed nobody expected him to behave any differently, but he did seem to yield a little by coming to stand at James' side and sparing the Lieutenant a courteous nod. There was a sense of unity there in that moment; every heart there beating with the faint hope that their Commander could still be alive amongst the rubble. Talk had died down at this point purely because there wasn't much that anybody could say to change things. Glances of sympathy and concern were directed at Kaidan but he was impervious to it all; his eyes focusing on his hand which was tightly clutching Shepard's original dog tags from the SR1. His face hardened and he stood completely straight, striding up to a slight hill nearby and looking down at the bewildered crew with such fiery determination that it gave them all a faint sense of purpose even now.

"Screw this!" He began passionately. "Shepard wouldn't expect us to stand out here crying and moping. She'd want us to either pull ourselves together and start picking up the pieces or she'd want us to hurry up and pull her out of the rubble. We won't know which one we have to do until we get back on the damned ship and go and see for ourselves! I'm not giving up on her yet; not while we're in this weird, Schrodinger's Cat kind of situation,"

"In case you haven't noticed, Alenko, I nearly burned the Normandy to breaking point getting us out of there!" Joker snarled as he took an enraged step forward, ignoring the searing pain crawling up his leg.

"You're forgetting you have me on board," Garrus spoke quietly as he disentangled himself from Tali and went to join Kaidan. "I always have a backup plan in case of emergencies and I certainly think this qualifies as an emergency. If there's any chance of pulling Shepard's ass out of the fire again, I'll do it. I won't eat or sleep if that's what it takes to get the Normandy back to Earth and the Citadel,"

A small murmur of agreement built up amongst the crew. They wanted to save the Commander as she had saved them and indeed the entire galaxy too.

"I'm getting back down to engineering to get us started," Tali nodded and folded her arms decisively, turning her head towards the rest of the crew. "Adams, Gabby, Ken, I'm going to need all of your help for this,"

The three all saluted in unison; teary smiles spreading across their faces.

"Aye, aye!" The three engineers replied before they followed Tali hastily back onto the ship, basically tripping over themselves in their eagerness to help.

"I'll head back down to the shuttle bay and see if I can't get the Kodiack ready again; we might need it if there's a possibility that Shepard fell to Earth," Cortez murmured as he brushed the tears from his eyes; the despair slowly being replaced by a strong glitter of loyalty. "James, mind giving me a hand?"

"I'm right with you, Esteban," James nodded and gestured a calloused hand towards the ship, keeping pace with Cortez as they too disappeared back into the Normandy.

"Traynor, keep all channels open for any kind of radio contact from Hackett. He might have news that could help," Kaidan spoke again, smiling gratefully at her dutiful nod and salute before she near enough sprinted back inside. "Allers, put your sliver of talent to some kind of use and contact everyone you can in the media. See if you can find any kind of damage report, body count, I don't care. Get us something,"

"Aye, aye! But, uh…Before that, do you mind if I just—"

"If this human lingers for a moment longer, I will tear out her spine and use it as a shelf in my quarters. Perhaps then she will be useful,"

Javik's rather malicious statement got Diana back inside rather quickly and Kaidan could've sworn he saw the Prothean grinning with a flash of impossibly sharp canines.

"I'll return to the medical bay and start preparing my strongest medication. If Shepard is alive I'll make sure we don't lose her," Doctor Chakwas murmured as she steadied her breathing and hurriedly disappeared, grateful to have something to do to stop her from breaking altogether.

Garrus was next to move. He turned to Kaidan and offered a hand which the biotic shook gratefully with a sense of understanding coming into fruition between the two soldiers.

"I'll head down to the main battery and get the repairs and calibrations started," Garrus declared as he jumped back down to level ground. "I'd rather nobody disturbs me unless it's anything related to Shepard,"

Liara followed, answering Kaidan's quizzical look before she even turned around to see it.

"I'm going to look at my channels to see if there are any updates. Feron might also have some information on how certain systems or planets are doing after the attack. If nothing else, we need a little bit of good news,"

Now only Joker, Kaidan and Javik remained outside. Joker still trembled from the pain slowly seeping through his bones and from grief, his eyes averted from the Major's expecting gaze as he pulled his hat over his eyes for a moment.

"This better be worth it, Kaidan,"

Was all he said before he turned and limped back into the Normandy, making a beeline for the cockpit. A heavy silence settled on the two warriors that were left standing out in the humid climate of this unfamiliar wold, both of them curious if all of this effort and painstaking work would reap any kind of good result.

"Orders?" Javik broke the silence readily; his voice cutting through the ringing in Kaidans ears.

"Be ready," Was the reply. "If we find her, we'll all need to pitch in and help,"

"Indeed. I will be in my quarters until I am needed. You would have made a good soldier in my cycle, Biotic,"

With that, Javik left and Kaidan was left standing there alone for a moment. He clutched the dog tags a little tighter as memories of Shepard flashed through his mind; their meeting before Eden Prime, her pulling him back from the beacon, every time she came to talk to him about his past, their night together before Ilos, Horizon, Mars, their date on the Citadel and finally the night they'd spent together not so long ago. Despite himself, he felt his eyes sting and he wiped at them angrily before striding back onto the Normandy with a strong sense of purpose.

"Hold on, Shepard. We're coming,"

And as the Normandy took off into the air again, despite the ship being more quiet than ever before, there was a stronger sense of duty than there had ever been. They were going to rescue their commander.

**Chapter 3:**

**No-one Left Behind**

All Shepard could feel was an extraordinary weight pressing down on her. She couldn't move her legs, it hurt to breath. It felt all too familiar to when she got spaced on the original SR1. She knew what that meant; she was dying. As if the slow feeling of numbness wasn't proof enough, she hacked and coughed violently as another wrack of pain shook through her body, feeling blood drip from the corner of her mouth and down her chin. This was it; there was no Cerberus to save her this time.

'At least,' She thought. 'We won. The war is over. The Reapers are gone; my job is done. I think…I've earned some down time…'

She smiled to herself bitterly as she felt her entire body becoming strangely light, as if there was no rubble pressing down on her at all, and each individual thought she had began to slip out of her head one by one. It was time. True to what people said, her life flashed before her eyes; right from when she was running around on frigates as a child, to graduating from the N7 program, the Blitz, becoming Commander, and everything from that point on that had made her life so incredibly surreal and breathtaking. If this was her time, she was ready. The only thing she regretted was making all of those promises to her friends – her family – of things they would do when she returned. She could only hope that they could forgive her over time. She should've taken up Miranda's mantra; never make promises you can't keep. As every one of her senses began to fade and dull, she slipped back into a dream she'd had so many times before but only now it seemed ten times more real to her. It was fitting. No more sleepless nights.

There she was again; standing in a decaying forest with ashen leaves tangling in her hair and dissolving at her touch, shadows of those she'd loved and lost watching every step she took with their voices whispering her name in her ear. And, as always, the StarChild was waiting for her. Except now she saw the monstrosity that lurked behind the exterior of a child. As always, the shimmering blue form ran but a sense of victory coursed through her veins and through her heart when she realised that this child wasn't running from the Reapers now; it was running from her. She grinned widely and gave chase, the heavy feeling she always got in those dreams gone completely. She sprinted now as she chased the translucent form into the darkness of the fog, the warrior in her soaring and crying in joy at the burning sensation in her legs as she ran, the heaving of her chest as she panted in her chase. She had never felt more alive. Shepard was quick to catch up to the 'child' as its limbs flailed in blind panic and it wailed as it tried to wrap Shepards morality around it's little finger. No chance; not now. Her hand swung around to her lower back and pulled out her M-76 Revenant – that trusty extension to her arm that had help her win this godforsaken war – and opened fire. Incendiary rounds blazed through the fog and gave the child nowhere to run and certainly nowhere to hide. As he always did, he sprouted into flames and wide eyes gazed at her through the embers but now the flames were hers to control and the eyes reflected everything she had accomplished. As every bullet she released tore a new hole into the aquamarine vision standing before her, licked it's 'skin' with another flicker of a flame, it finally dawned on her what had just happened. She had saved everyone she cared about with a round of bullets; she had won a war with conventional means that apparently couldn't be won conventionally. She had succeeded where an entire galaxy before her had failed. What if something else came around again? Another enemy? Who else could lead the charge? As much as she hated it, she was an idol to most; there would be people she didn't even know mourning her loss. The galaxy was still fragile after this, it NEEDED a guardian; a protector.

She needed to live.

Shepard's mouth opened wide and she sucked in a greedy breath, tasting ash and blood on her tongue. Her eyes snapped open and stared up at the stars with blurry eyes. The rubble was back again and pressed it's weight painfully against her broken legs but the pain made her feel alive this time. She had a keen desire to live that overshadowed the nausea and fear and pain; it made her blood flow that much warmer through her body. Admittedly things seemed incredibly bleak; her arms were broken and bleeding profusely, her legs twisted grotesquely out of shape and her torso was scorched beneath her N7 armour. She could feel something warm matting in what was left of her hair and saw a thick red line oozing down her face out of the periphery of her vision. What could she do now? Even with all of her hope, she was unable to do anything other than breath and blink. No, she couldn't think that way. She cursed herself for not being a biotic; she maybe could've tried to lift some of the rubble off of her.

"Heh, fat lot of good that would do. I still can't walk," She chided to herself.

Those little moments, those little snippets of humour and being able to hear her own voice was what would stop her from losing her mind to her panic. She was going to find some way to get out of here. She was going to get back home. She was…She was—

"Admiral!" We've found something!" A voice cut through the gunpowder air and she heard frantic scuffling of boots over rubble coming from behind her. "Good God…Hurry, sir!"

More shuffling and grunting came now, everything falling quiet for a moment as Shepard felt eyes fixed on her, not daring to move.

"I'll be damned…" A familiar voice whispered incredulously. "Shepard,"

His voice made her want to speak. Cracked and bloodied lips parted into a grimacing smile as her eyelids fluttered open again despite the fact that she couldn't even turn her head to look at him.

"Admiral Hackett. Sorry for lying down on the job, sir…" She croaked and he heard him breath in sharply as he scrabbled down the rubble to get a better look at her.

"Jesus, Shepard…" He paused again, knowing there were no words that would suffice. "How did you…We were sure we'd only find a body,"

"Your optimism is what keeps me going, sir," Came the glib reply.

"How you can even still talk is beyond me. Get her out of there! I don't care how heavy those slabs are, get the woman out of there NOW! That's an order!"

Shepard waited for a moment, her ears tuning into the sound of dozens of scurrying feet as hands reached out around her body and started the laborious process of pulling her free from the rubble. The weight slowly dissipated from her legs but that just opened up a new floodgate of pain as fresh blood flew through them both, warming both old injuries she'd forgotten about and new injuries she'd yet to see. Her arms instinctively flexed as they too were gradually freed and Shepard couldn't help the yelp of pain that passed her lips when she tried to clench and unclench her fists. Her breathing quickened as numbness turned to pain and her head began to spin unpleasantly.

"N…Normandy…" She breathed in sudden realisation, trying and failing to move her arms to support her body as she tried to sit up.

Hackett's hand came down upon a singed shoulder, gentle but demanding, pushing her back down again.

"They're all alive, Shepard," He nodded and moved so that she could see him, his face lined with wrinkles and grizzled with years of experience. "Right now, worry about yourself,"

"Forgotten how…" She chuckled humourlessly. "Always a galaxy in trouble…Need to hold their hand…"

Despite himself, Hackett laughed. Even when she was on death's door, Shepard was still the same woman. All the more reason to make sure she survived this. He kneeled down beside her as his eyes drank in the horrific sight before him. Her body was mangled and bloodied, her arms, legs and most likely her ribs were all broken from the impact. Most of her hair had been singed from the explosion and there was a deep, grotesque gash on her crown. Bruises littered her body like purple badges of honour and her N7 armour stuck to various parts of her body; matted with blood and singed to the skin. Shepard's breathing was harsh in his ears, rattling out of her throat in uncontrolled and desperate wheezes. She didn't have much left in her other than hope. Hackett saw her eyes dip shut gradually and lightly grabbed her by the shoulders to try and shake her awake, but the pain of his touch alone made those battle hardened orbs snap open to attention.

"Stay with us, Shepard," He pleaded. "You can't sleep yet,"

"But I'm so tired, sir…" She murmured in exhaustion.

"Just a little while longer, Shepard. You can sleep for as long as you like after that,"

He was acknowledged with a pained grunt and a nod as some paramedics were escorted over the rubble by some of his men. He moved to let them at Shepard's body and his eye drifted from her to one of the soldiers who approached him; the young mans face taut with confusion and worry.

"S-Sir, we have a ship in the area. It looks as though it's trying to come in to land,"

Hackett smirked and nodded. He knew what ship that was before the soldier had even told him the name.

"That ship is the SR2 Normandy. Contact their pilot and tell them they're free to land. Give them coordinates for the LZ. Tell Joker to make sure Dr Chakwas is standing by. Shepard's alive,"

"Normandy. Come in, Normandy," Joker jerked forward as a transmission crackled through the cockpit.

"This is the Normandy. Go ahead, soldier," He replied anxiously, his fingers drumming at the console.

"Approach the LZ at these coordinates. Admiral Hackett advises your attending doctor is standing by; we are bringing Shepard on board,"

Joker's heart leaped into his throat at the soldiers last words before the transmission cut. He didn't say 'Shepard's body'. He said 'Shepard'. She was alive. His hands scrabbled until he managed to hit the button for the intercom, his voice doing his beaming smile absolutely no justice.

"We're coming in to land, people, brace yourselves! Commander Shepard will be boarding,"

It took what seemed like a second before Kaidan strode into the cockpit and clapped a hand down on Jokers shoulder carefully, coffee eyes boring a hole in the pilots cap.

"You better not be shitting me here, Joker,"

"I'm not that cruel, Major. I'd get yourself strapped in if you're staying up here; it's not gonna be a smooth landing,"

Obediently, Kaidan sat down in what used to be EDI's seat, his hands gripping the arms of it so hard he worried for a moment he'd rip the seams. Shepard was boarding. He almost didn't want to see what she looked like; he didn't want to see her in so much pain and nearly dying because he didn't stay with her like he should've. It'd break him all over again.

"-dan. Kaidan. Kaidan!"

Joker's voice made the Major turn his head a little, if only to show he was listening.

"Snap out of it. The last thing the Commander would want is you moping. Do it in your own time; right now she needs us. You said so yourself,"

Kaidan nodded, collecting himself for a moment before looking out the window. He could only see rubble as they came into land, speckled with the little skittering flecks that were Hackett's men. It only took a minute for the Normandy to touch ground but to him it felt like hours.

"SR2 Normandy has landed," Joker spoke into the console. "Do you guys need a hand or will we stay put?"

"Negative, there's enough commotion out here as it is. We'll bring Shepard to you; Hackett advises immediate departure afterwards,"

"Roger that, soldier. Normandy out,"

Joker took his hands off of the console and carefully rose to his feet, ignoring the questioning glance from Kaidan but answering the question that came with it.

"I'll be damned if I'll sit here while the Commander gets taped down in the medical bay. I'm at least making sure I get to see her breathing before we get the hell out of here,"

Kaidan nodded and stood with Joker dutifully by the airlock, his heart leaping into his throat when the familiar hiss sounded from behind the door. Two paramedics shuffled uneasily on board with a stretcher between the two of them, the body on top of it covered in what looked suspiciously like aluminium foil up to the neck.

"It's to insulate her; her suits thermal regulators shorted out on impact," The first explained to Joker who was looking at the foil as though it was a sleeping Vorcha lying on top of the Commander. "We can't have her losing any more body heat,"

Joker nodded but Kadians eyes and mind were too transfixed on Shepard's face. Blood was crusted along her cheek and jaw, her nose obviously broken and still bleeding with her left eye turning a horrible yellowish colour as the bruising set in. Her lips were split in several places with gashes and burns littering her forehead and chin. He saw that a good deal of her hair had been burnt off at one side but he didn't care about that; it would take months for that to grow back at the very most. His mouth felt incredibly dry as the paramedics hauled her off towards the elevator but both he and Joker were quick to follow. They weren't letting Shepard out of their sight.

The whole crew left every single one of their stations and crowded around the glass windows of the med bay to watch as the paramedics carefully transferred Shepard to one of the med bay cots. Carefully, they assisted Dr Chakwas in removing the foil from around Shepard's sparsely armoured body. Inch by horrifying inch, the doctor finally saw just how much the Commander had sacrificed for everyones safety. As a professional, it looked bad. As Shepard's friend and colleague, it looked ten times worse.

"We recommend taking Shepard to Illium. Earth is in no shape to give her the correct life support. They were fairly swift to restore functionality after the main Repaer forces left them in favour of Thessia. Resources there are fairly intact; there should be a hospital to suit your needs,"

Afterwards, both hastily left, leaving Dr Chakwas to gingerly peel off the remnants of Shepard's armour. The crew looked to each other from outside fearfully before most of them let their eyes rest on Kaidan.

"Well, Kaidan?" Garrus quipped. "You're the only one here trained as a medic. Get in there and help her,"

Kaidan grumbled but didn't object; wasting no time in entering the med bay and striding up to Shepard's cot as Joker hobbled back to the elevator to plot a course for Illium. One by one, the crew dispersed from the window – Garrus, Liara and Tali all being the last to leave – and returned to their respective posts. Kadian could only stare down at the woman unconscious beside him; it knocked the breath out of him in the worst way possible. So he let the professional half of his mind take over if only for a little while.

'This is your Commander and she needs you to help her,' The little voice in his head scolded.

Slowly, he removed her boots and greaves, unsettled by the fact that they were caked in so much blood he couldn't even see the blue highlights Shepard had had painted onto them. Dr Chakwas worked on the chestplate reluctantly, resorting to cutting the seared skin with a scalpel to dislodge the plate entirely from Shepard's chest. Her gauntlets came relatively easily afterwards. Kaidan could only imagine how long it would take for Shepard to recover, if she ever did. Dr Chakwas draped a blanket over Shepard's wounded body carefully and delicately attached an oxygen mask to the bruised and marred face.

"I'll watch over her, Kaidan. You'll be the first to know if anything changes," She spoke softly and touched the back of the Majors hand, her all-knowing eyes glittering in earnest.

"Yeah…Thank you, Doctor,"

"Of course. Try to get some sleep; we've all been neglecting it,"

Kaidan could only nod as he left the med bay, committing the sound of Shepard's breathing to memory to help him sleep a little bit better.

Once Joker sent word to Illium that Shepard needed a hospital bed, they were pretty generous. A bed, surgeon and life support machine were reserved for her with an Asari medical team waiting for the shore party to carry her off the ship. However, they did forbid anyone from entering the hospital afterwards. They needed to work immediately and there were already too many refugees in every single one of Illium's remaining hospitals; even two or three unnecessary bodies would be too much. Kaidan had protested - avidly so – but there wasn't much he could do to stop a team of trained Asari and he knew it. He had felt the eyes of the crew on him, a silent question of 'what are we going to do?' emanating from them all. He would be lying if he said he had the answer.

"Come back in two weeks," One of the physicians had told Kaidan after his 'protest'. "Stay in a hotel if you really have to. We just can't have you in the hospital right now, sir. I'm sorry,"

Kaidan knew that there would be no hotel on the entire planet with enough room for the whole crew in it. It would feel wrong leaving them to wonder while he got to know everything first hand. Plus, he was the CO of the Normandy in her absence; he needed to be on the ship. The only option was to leave and have the Normandy help with aid; ferrying of refugees, transport of food and water to camps. It was the only thing they could do at the moment. And so, the Asari team left with Shepard in tow. Kaidan looked to James who stood beside him looking nothing short of infuriated before he stalked back onto the ship, leaving Kaidan to follow behind him. The younger Lieutenant had a severe case of hero worship, but Shepard had been one of his closest friends too. Kaidan could empathise. He followed the considerably bulkier man back onto the Normandy and opened all comm channels, a picture of Shepard's marred body sitting unnervingly in the back of his mind.

"Heart rate rising, doctor. Patient showing signs of consciousness and spatial awareness,"

"What? No, check it again. I gave her enough sedatives to bring down a Krogan,"

"I'm telling you, doctor, she's—"

The two Asari turned sharply as a raspy breath rattled through Shepards chest and her eyes slid open. She felt like hell and she was certain she looked it too. The weight of her armour was gone, however, and in its place was a flimsy fabric that scratched uncomfortably at her skin; a hospital gown. That would explain why her bed was more comfortable than usual.

"Where…" She groaned, frustrated when the nurse made every effort to restrain her as she tried to sit up.

"Please, ma'am, you're in no condition to move yet. You still have about four more operations to undergo and your cybernetics haven't been properly repaired and replaced yet,"

"So, I didn't die then,"

"N-No, ma'am!"

"Nurse, stop engaging her! Give her more of the sedative; her next operation is in fifteen minutes! Commander, please lie still,"

"Well, this is familiar…" Shepard smirked at the painful irony.

"Beg your pardon?"

"Nothing, doc. Put me back under,"

The doctor, despite being slightly disturbed by Shepards willingness, only nodded as the hiss of the equipment reverberated throughout the room as she administered another dose of the rather potent sedatives. It wasn't long before Shepard was unconscious again.

"Well that was unexpected. Get her through to the OR,"

"Yes, doctor,"

It was a week before the Normandy got word that Shepard had survived the various surgeries she'd undergone, despite her cybernetics playing havoc with her body. Commander Shepard had now laughed in the face of death twice. The crew had gathered in the Normandys lounge that night and had drinks in her honour, joking and singing and laughing into the early hours now with the knowledge that their Commander was going to be alright.

Garrus, Liara, Tali and Kaidan were the first group allowed to visit Shepard in the hospital. Her room was easily three times the size of any of the rooms in Huerta Memorial and could fit the 4 friends in there with room to spare. Liara brought flowers, Tali brought Shepard her Revenant assault rifle which she'd managed to fix after 'tinkering' with it for a while, Garrus brought her brandy (not Turian, thankfully), and Kaidan brought a little blue velvet box with her old SR1 dog tags inside it, cleaned and polished to perfection minus a few unavoidable scratches. He had certainly had the time during her absence to devote a bit of time to them. Shepard's head turned weakly on her pillow as they all came in together and tired lips broke into a joyful smile; the first to reach her eyes in months. Her eyes sparkled as Liara flung her arms around Shepard's neck and hugged the breath from her lungs. A bandaged arm wrapped around her friends shoulders and gave them a reassuring squeeze, wheezing a little at just how tightly Liara was now clinging to her.

"Not so tight, Liara…" She croaked and laughed roughly as her friend pulled back in panic.

"I'm so sorry, Shepard! I-I'm just so glad to see you're alright—"

"Don't worry about it. You didn't have to get me gifts,"

"Well, your mother said you liked these Earth flowers; lilies? I couldn't find any blue so I got purple instead. There's a little card in that one from your mother, see? She wishes her best and she's on her way here via shuttle,"

Shepard nodded and smiled in thanks as Liara scurried around and found a vase to put the lilies in, stepping away as Tali gave Shepard a short embrace of her own and placed the Revenant on her bedside cabinet. Shepard's eyes lingered on it for a moment and smiled; that old thing was as much of a member of her crew as any of her visitors were. It was good to see that it had survived.

"The safety's on and there's no thermal clip so it's completely safe, I promise," The Quarian laughed as Shepard frowned in disappointment. "I'm not giving you a loaded gun, Shepard. I said I'd loan you a grenade but I'm not THAT stupid,"

"You're just no fun anymore, Tali,"

Shepard's saw Tali's eyes crinkling behind her helmet in a smile before she stepped away. Garrus took her place now with the brandy, setting it next to the gun and giving what remained of Shepard's hair a light ruffle as his mandibles flared into a broad Turian smile.

"You look like hell, Shepard," He chuckled.

"Is that any way to greet a friend that nearly died?"

"You said I was 'always ugly' after I took a missile to the face, Shepard,"

"Point taken…"

The two shared a laugh and Garrus pressed his forehead to hers affectionately. He'd never said it before, but Shepard was and always would be the best friend he'd ever had. Knowing she'd survived gave him a great sense of relief and peace. He'd give her a lecture later. For now, he was content to just look at her and know she was alive. Kaidan was the last to come forward. He leaned down and pressed his lips against her bandaged forehead, his eyes squeezed shut as he breathed in deeply. The smell of medigel, soot, shampoo and metal rocked through him like a wave and he revelled in it for a moment before popping the box open and helping Shepard sit up. He supported her back with one strong arm and tried to slip the dog tags around her neck with the other before Shepard stopped him.

"I'm not a cripple, Kaidan," She protested. "I can put a chain around my neck,"

Embarrassed, he nodded and handed the tags to her. She carefully slid them around her neck and sighed softly at the feeling of cool metal on her clammy skin.

"You look better rested than you've been in months," Kaidan smiled in approval.

"There isn't much else I can do in this place other than sleep," Shepard shot back dryly with one of those smiles that were uniquely hers. "I…How's Joker taking the whole situation with EDI?"

"He's keeping himself busy with his job," Kaidan replied with a frown. "Although I'd like to know what happ—"

"Don't push me, Kaidan. I'll tell you when I'm ready,"

Her snapping unsettled him slightly but he certainly understood. After her ordeal, he could stand to wait a little longer before he asked her the hard questions.

"The Reaper tech in her was destroyed, as it was with the Geth," Tali piped up, a finger rubbing her masked chin. "But the damage isn't irreparable; we have technology intelligent enough to repair them all. It'll be slow, but it's possible. I've sent a request to the Flot—to Rannoch, I mean. They've already started Geth repairs and some are showing signs of intelligence again upon their awakening. If they send me some documents on their procedures and some of the equipment, I could probably restore most of EDI's functionality,"

The feeling of relief that spread through Shepard was nearly enough to make her cry but once in a lifetime was enough for her. She settled for a shaky breath as Kaidan's hand wrapped around hers and gave it a gentle squeeze. She glanced at each of her visitors in turn and found herself so incredibly thankful that it was them who'd been with her from the beginning and it was them who were here now.

"Why did you come back?" She finally asked them as she looked at each of her visitors inquisitively, surprised to see each of the smiling even broader than before.

"Because you said so yourself when we hit the Collector base," Garrus smiled. "No-one gets left behind,"

A comfortable silence settled between them all for a moment and a wistful calm settled over Shepard's bandaged face.

"When will you be back on the Normandy with us?" Liara piped up curiously, ignoring the glare Garrus shot her for ruining the moment.

"I'll need a lot of therapy, Liara," Shepard sighed heavily, letting go of Kaidans hand for just a moment to uncomfortably rub her bandaged hands together. "Learning to walk again and stuff will take time. I'll be back on the Normandy as soon as I'm able; you'll hear from me,"

"Of course, Shepard. I was just curious; the Normandy isn't the same without you. Although, the Major is doing a very good job of keeping things operational,"

"I bet he is,"

Shepard smiled and placed her free hand on Kaidans arm as he took her hand again in a gesture of silent support, her eyes open and grateful for taking care of things in her absence. However, that look was quick to fade as she looked down at her blankets and disappointment quickly set in to replace it.

"Although, I'm not kidding when I say I'll need time to learn to walk again. My legs were broken in every possible place they could be, the armour had ripped skin clean off when it was removed. It'd helped prevent infection enough to save me from amputation but they're still in pretty bad shape. I needed a lot of skin grafts and yet more cybernetics to help hold the bones together. I'm pretty sure I'm about half synthetic now,"

Shepard's last statement was broken up by a forced laugh as her hand pulled away from Kaidans yet again and she wrung them both nervously. He could see by her restlessness that spending so long in a confined environment was driving her crazy.

"Honestly? I'm not sure how long the therapy will last. It could be anything from a few months to a few years. It all depends on how my body copes with it and how much work I'll need to do. I'm just lucky my spine wasn't damaged. I'm not quite sure HOW, but all that was wrong there was a slipped disc,"

"Then you were lucky," Tali nodded and folded her arms, her foot tapping almost impatiently. "Shepard, you look as though you feel guilty for nearly dying,"

"Well, I mean, I should be out there with you all. Instead, I'm just sitting here—

"Cut the bull, Shepard. You were ready to die for us; we're just happy you didn't,"

Shepard nodded at the Quarian and smiled again honestly, gradually lying back down and lowering herself down gradually on bruised arms.

"I'll have the doctors forward regular progress reports to the Normandy. All I ask in return is you regularly give me updates on the refugee situation and how the work on the Geth and EDI is faring. Sound like a fair deal, Commander?"

Shepard's eyes homed in on Kaidan as she addressed him with that title and glittered at the incredulous look she found there.

"S-Shepard, what—"

"I can't exactly command the Normandy while…What was that charming saying you had…I'm 'tied down by medical red tape'. You'll assume control as any XO would. This also means you'll be in charge of relaying information and updates back to me. Understood?"

"…Aye, aye, ma'am,"

Shepard nodded and saw her doctor hovering impatiently in the doorway, sneering at the rather bitter Asari matron. She knew visiting hours were over now.

"Sorry guys but we'll have to cut this short. Little Miss Sunshine is about lie down some fresh red tape,"

Her glib remark was rewarded by the laughter of her friends – family – before each said their goodbyes. Tali and Liara gingerly hugged her again although only Liara's tears could be seen brimming in the corners of her eyes. Garrus clapped her across her unbandaged shoulder and gave her a friendly nudge.

"You'll be outta here in no time. You've DIED and even that only slowed you down by a couple of years,"

"Laugh it up, Garrus. I'm expecting a sparring match from you when I get back,"

"Pass, Shepard. Ask Vega,"

Shepard grinned and nodded, waving as he left with the two women. Kaidan, however, lingered for a few more moments to crush her to him briefly in a hug and kiss her tentatively; almost as if he was scared of her shattering like glass. While he pulled away breathless in the knowledge that she was alive and well, she could only snort.

"We'll need to do this properly…Y'know…When I'm not surrounded by doctors and have full control of my extremities,"

"Is that an order, Commander?"

Kaidan smirked and Shepard howled in laughter until her ribs hurt before giving him a weak but playful shove from her bedside.

"Damned straight. Now go on, I'll expect your first report in a weeks time. I want statistics, Major,"

"It's Commander, isn't it?"

"Don't push it, Alenko,"

Kaidan smiled and glanced over at the doctor who had just purposefully cleared her throat, quirking an eyebrow in rebuttal before he turned back to Shepard. He didn't have to say any more; they both knew how much they meant to each other and neither of them were great at expressing their emotions without making utter idiots of themselves. Instead, he settled for one last embrace before he trailed the scars and bruises along her cheekbone. Finally, he straightened up and released her, striding towards the door and roughly shouldering the doctor as he went.

"If I hear so much as a discontented murmur from her, I will take you to Tuchanka, dump you in the desert and leave you there for a Thresher Maw to find," He growled as he stalked away.

He was rather proud of himself for being able to say that with a straight face; he was snickering like a little schoolboy in trouble on the inside. The Asari doctor huffed in indignation before Shepard waved her over and held out her arm for the usual injections. The exchange was purely professional and neither spoke. This was necessary but it didn't mean they had to like each other for it.

"My mother is arriving shortly,"

"She can stay for 10 minutes, Commander,"

"Half an hour,"

"10 minutes, I said,"

"20,"

"15,"

"Done. A pleasure doing business with you, doc,"

Both glowered at one another warily and the doctor was the first to break. Naturally, Shepard thought, as she watched the Asari skulk off and shut the door behind her.

As the sedatives and medigel began to lure her back into a forced sleep, Shepard felt herself smiling. Things were going to be alright after all.

Therapy obviously agreed with Shepard. A long and arduous six months later, she returned to the Normandy despite her therapists obvious disapproval (not that she'd cared any) and strutted into the cockpit in her dress blues wearing a smile none had seen on her since before the war had even started. She'd nearly died twice, actually died once and she was hellbent on living her life to its fullest before either could ever happen again.

"Welcome aboard, Commander," Joker had grinned upon her arrival.

"It's good to be back,"

It really was. Sure, she could settle down now but she wasn't ready for that yet. The Reapers were gone but there was still a matter that needed to be dealt with.

Aria wasn't sitting on her throne on Omega yet. So, as the Normandy set off again and Shepard turned away from Joker and EDI, she had but one other thought playing on her mind;

She needed a drink.

"Traynor, assemble everyone in the lounge. Send a message to Mr Vega saying that he better be prepared to run away from that poker table with his tail between his legs and tell Ken that if he even so much as sniffs at my scotch I'll take Javiks advice and throw him out the airlock,"

Samantha smiled broadly and saluted, nodding vigorously as her deft fingers danced across her console.

"Yes, Commander. Right away,"

**It was good to be home.**


End file.
